What Depression Looks Like

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF SOMEONE IS DEPRESSED?

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), also called clinical depression, is characterized by a major depressive episode and has two core symptoms:

Depressed Mood or Loss of Interest or Pleasure.  

Even though there is a clear medical definition for these terms, it is important to be mindful that symptoms of depression are not "black and white", and are not always visible.  Depression looks different for everyone, however there are common warning signs. 

WITHDRAWEL AND ISOLATION

When you notice the symptoms of depression in a loved one, asking them to make plans might seem like the most logical way to show support.  For a depressed person, making plans, most importantly, keeping plans is very difficult.  One of the major symptoms of depression you can look for in a loved one is cancelling plans, reluctantly agreeing to plans, or turning down plans.  You can help your loved one cope by understanding their feelings, and not taking cancelling plans personally. 

LOSS OF INTEREST IN ACTIVITIES

You may notice your family or loved one no longer engaging in activities they once enjoyed.  They may stop participating in activities they once enjoyed like excercise, hanging out with friends, or past hobbies. Loss of Interest in activities or hobbies is a tell-tale sign of depression.  This is because serotonin levels , which help promote feelings of joy, are low in people with depression, making it hard for them to feel calm or happy.  Activities or hobbies that once brought them joy, may not anymore. 

LOW MOOD

Depression can have a drastic effect on a person's mood.  The once upbeat, bubbly family or friend may suddenly seem mad, sad, or aggravated; causing them to have a negative outlook on life.  Please remember it is possible to be depressed and still appear happy. It can be helpful to stay mindful of what your friend or family is experiencing and know their behavior is a result of depression. 

WHAT SHOULD YOU AVOID SAYING TO A DEPRESSED LOVED ONE?

Odds are you know someone dealing with depression,  over 17 million adults in the US being diagnosed with depression.  It can be upsetting to watch a loved one deal with depression, especially if you are unsure of how to help. It is sometimes easier to start with "what not to say".  Here are a few things to avoid saying to your loved one experiencing depression, and also some things to say instead.

DO NOT BLAME THEM FOR THEIR DEPRESSION

Noone chooses to have a mental health condition,  though people diagnosed with depression may feel like it is a character flaw. It is important to remember that depression is a medical condition , and is not anyone's fault.  Saying things like "you just need to try to be more positive" or "you should make better life choices" can compound feelings of guilt and shame they may already be feeling. Instead, try reminding them they do not deserve to live with depression , and they do deserve to feel better. 

DO NOT TELL THEM THEY NEED TO TRY HARDER

For someone living with depression, simple tasks like getting out of bed, showering, brushing their teeth might feel impossible. It is important to understand that depression affects areas of the brain that controls a persons ability to start or complete a task and feel motivated. Instead of insisting they try harder, try encouraging them by letting them know you are willing to help, and ask them how you can best support them. 

DO NOT DISMISS FEELINGS OR MOOD

It is natural to want to relate to what they are going through or offer solutions to their feelings.  Try acknowledging what they are going through is hard, and you would like to support them however they need. 

DO NOT TELL THEM IT COULD BE WORSE

Major symptoms of depression include feelings of guilt or worthlessness. Try acknowledging that they are going through a difficult time and you are happy to help .  Anything you can say to make them feel at ease about needing support can be helpful.